An Open Letter to my Ex Best Friend

ex bestie

The other day I realized it has been one year since we have seen each other. A year should have been sufficient time for me to deal with the demise of our friendship and attain closure on the matter. I have toyed with the idea for months of writing you a letter to try to reach said closure, but instead of sending it to you in the mail and possibly opening up the door for further discussion I would rather lay it out on my blog instead. You see, this letter isn’t really for you. It is for me.

remember me

You and I spent a decade in a friendship together. Most friendships that start out solely on the premise of partying are destined to fail, but for some reason I felt that our friendship was different. In the beginning, we were always in sync. Now I realize it was probably because our main goal was to be shit faced every night of the week. Even though as time passed, that wasn’t our main priority anymore and our attention had been diverted to different things. You were raising your son as a single mother, and fled the small “city” that we both lived in. I am still here. I was raising my daughter with my husband, living the life of a stay at home mother for the most part. You busted your ass and received your Bachelor’s degree, and I was always proud of you for that. Career wise, you have lofty ambitions that so far have seemed to work out the way you have intended. I took classes here and there, when it wasn’t too much of a burden on my family obligations. I realize you really didn’t have a choice if you wanted to provide a good life as a single mother for your son. My next statement will probably make every fellow feminist cringe, but my main concern has been my children and establishing an amazing life with my husband for us all. I left my career in real estate to run my household. That has worked out pretty well for me. My husband does really well financially, and he gave me the option of staying home or working outside of the home. Since I was raised by a single mother as a latch key kid, I chose a different route for MY family.

was your best friend

Through the years I have seriously outgrown the drinking, staying out late, and paying babysitters ridiculous amounts of money to watch my kids. At this point in my life, I am finally happy and really fucking content to be still. An amazing Saturday night for me is a bottle of Pelligrino, a vegan Chipotle burrito, and a couple of movies on Netflix. The first movie is usually a family movie, then we whisk the kid’s to their rooms.  The second movie is something R rated, just me and my honey bunny snuggling on the couch with a plethora of dogs lounging around the room. An amazing Saturday night for you continues to be what it has always been, minus the party favors we both indulged in on a regular basis. You put on a cute outfit and head out for a night of vodka and male attention.

party girl

Our differences started to become very apparent to me a couple of years ago. You were training in Atlanta for your new position with a federal agency for three months. I came to visit you one weekend. After we had dinner and visited the Cheetah (it is rare for either of us to have met an adult club we didn’t like, but you don’t want anyone to know that side of you), we met up with some of your co-workers for drinks at an Irish bar close to the Westin where you all were staying. We imbibed quite a bit there, then we went across the street to a Karaoke bar and stayed until closing time. We all hung out for a little bit at the hotel having drinks before we all parted ways. It wasn’t long after you and I were back in your room when you decided to leave me alone so you could go hook up with a co-worker. I understand that since you don’t have a husband at your sexual disposal that occasionally you crave a man’s touch. You were there with that guy for three months. Why did you choose the weekend that I came to see you to act on your desires?

Every year I set up a girl’s weekend, where it was usually just you and I. In retrospect, I realize that planning this was my way of insuring that I got some time with you even if it was for just one weekend a year. Fast forward to the last girl’s trip that we took. We went to the Bahamas. I didn’t find it odd that you were awake and in the shower before me, that almost always happens no matter who I am with. I love to sleep in. However, I did find it strange that once you were done getting ready you would jet out of the room and tell me to meet you at the bar or down at Starbucks when I was done. When you are on a trip with someone, it’s a tad rude to do that. Of course, I took my time getting ready each time you did that. I also rolled a fatty and smoked on the balcony, since we are being completely honest here. The incident that really sticks with me the most about this trip is when we went over to Atlantis for the evening. We had a delicious dinner at Nobu, then decided to go dance at Aura. It didn’t take long for some guys to zone in on us. I engaged in polite conversation but quickly let it be known to the guy from Ft. Lauderdale who was hitting on me that I was married, and am fiercely loyal to my husband (as I am to anyone I care about in my life). As you know, I won’t accept a drink from another man (because it is leading them on, IMO) or dance with another man. I don’t do anything that I wouldn’t want my husband to do if he was out without me. As soon as I told the guy this, he switched his attention to you. So, for the rest of the night I stood at the bar alone sipping on club soda with lime or sitting on the couch at the front of the club. The two of you would come sit by me and have a smoke break after every few songs, but I was alone for the most part. It was after this trip that things between us began to crumble rather quickly.

third wheel

Remember that cat you used to have, Tiger? He had to take medications for his allergies and instead of getting them, or finding him a good home that could deal with his medical issues, you threw him out in the woods in the middle of winter. I could have found a home for him. I was so furious when you got another cat later, that when it didn’t work out with that one I had my mother rescue it. She still has Maggie to this day. I should have known things would not work out between us then. I never trust someone who doesn’t love animals.

sad cat

In the past year that we have not been friends or on speaking terms, I keep thinking about things that have happened that I wish I would have been more aware of at the time. For instance, you were one of my bridesmaids at my wedding yet planned no kind of shower or anything. You told me you couldn’t afford the dress I chose, so I paid for 2/3 of it for you. You told me you couldn’t pitch in on the limo at my Bachelorette party in Myrtle Beach, but you easily had a collective bar tab higher than that over the course of the weekend. You were very late to my bridal suite the day of my wedding. All of the ladies in my family and my MOH had been hanging out drinking champagne all day. Yes, I know you said your son had pink eye. You called me at 10 am to tell me. You called again at noon to let me know he had been seen at the Dr’s office and you were just waiting on his prescription to be filled. Apparently that is the slowest pharmacy on the planet, because you didn’t show up at the suite until we were walking out the door. I suspect you had a date the night before, or during that day that kept you from your bridesmaids duties on the day of my wedding. You not once showed up for any of my relative’s funerals, not even my Granddad that I was super tight with. Not even knowing that he loved you to death. In fact, I didn’t hear from you for about two weeks after that. You couldn’t even muster a return phone call for weeks when I was having some marital issues. By the time you called, it was over with and we were fine. So, basically I just gave you a recap.

woman waiting

As I said earlier, I chose to write this letter because it was my only path to closure. Last summer you told me you were too busy studying for your CPA exam to hang out. When I offered to come to you, you told me your roommate/sister was too busy with her dental school studies to have company. I left it alone. I still invited you to come here and do things, but you were always too busy. This is around the time I started seeing you tagged on Facebook at the lake here with the guy you were dating. I also know he came to see you in your town, and spent the night at your house. I was surprised because I was told that wasn’t an option. Around this time I became acquainted with a woman that you have never met, but for some reason hate because the two of you share an ex. I asked you if you minded that she and her son come swim at my house, and you told me no. Then you ended up throwing it in my face because it came out that your “boyfriend” was seeing her also. Newsflash-that dude is a total whore. I may be the only female in all of the state he hasn’t hooked up with. Long story short, you threw away a decade long friendship over a literal dick.

woman chasing man

I still wasn’t ready to give up on our friendship at this point. I was going to come to your town and meet with you for dinner, hoping we could squash the negativity and go back to being friends. When you told me you would be happy to do so as long as we didn’t have to talk about anything that happened, my response was that if we can’t hash it out then I can’t have closure and there is no moving forward. At some point around this time you sent me old text messages from me that you had saved, trying to prove some kind of point. The only thing you succeeded in by doing so was allowing me the opportunity to revisit history, and let me see how silly I was for trying to maintain our friendship. All of those texts reiterated how I felt, and although you were trying to use them against me to prove your own point all it did was show me how much denial you are in.

What I have come to understand about you is that you look really good on paper, but in real life you are a borderline alcoholic with daddy issues. This translates into sharing your vagina with anyone who seems interested and eventually intimacy issues, which could be why you are only one of two women in my age range that has yet to be married. The other woman is bat shit crazy, and I can see why she isn’t betrothed. But you really want to be, and the reason it hasn’t happened is something much deeper than you are willing to admit to yourself. That being said, I was fine with that. Those are your issues, not mine. I have enough of my own to contend with. What bothers me is that I was very loyal to you, and that was not ever reciprocated. I was a fucking awesome friend to you. You, not so much to me.

taylor swift hand up

Throwing people you care about to the side for the possibility of some dick is something that wasn’t just done to me. You also did it to your sister when y’all went to NYC for a trip. You lavished all of your affection on some random dude, eventually hooking up with him in the bathroom. Meanwhile your sister is sitting there alone. I remember you telling me this story because it took a while for your sister to be cool with you again. If I were you, I would look into these series of events with a fine tooth comb. I would hate for everyone you care about to give up on you, like I have.


I know this letter comes off really harsh, but it is the truth. Some of these occurrences are recent revelations of mine, and I deal with things by writing about it. I know that you quickly replaced me with a new “bestie” who has the same love affair with alcohol as you. At least you have found someone with a common interest. In reality, I owe you a huge thank you. I spent years chasing after you and our friendship, because I felt that without you I didn’t have a BFF, bestie, or whatever you want to call it. I now realize that my BFF has been right in front of my face the entire time, and it is my husband. I hope that one day you can find your happiness, and I don’t mean your Instagram account where you take photos of your Charleston “foodie” escapades.  I want you to find that all encompassing love that wraps you up almost to the point of suffocation. I want you to find true meaning in your life. I want you to be truly, deeply, and madly happy with yourself and your life. I will leave you with this. I don’t think you are a bad person. I just know you are no longer the kind of person I want to be friends with. I will always have a special place in my heart for you and your son, and wish you the best of luck.


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Cecil the Lion and the hypocrites who loved him


By now, every modern society across the globe has heard of Cecil the Lion and his murder. We know that an American dentist, Walt Palmer, paid $55,000 to obtain a hunting license in Zimbabwe. He commissioned guides to help him “take” a lion, which also means kill. I am unsure why the dickhead dentist chooses to use the term “take” instead of kill, murder, or destroy. Maybe it makes Dr. Palmer feel less like a murderer to use that term, but the truth of the matter is he is a killer. He didn’t take him anywhere but to his grave, along with Cecil’s 6 cubs who don’t have a chance in hell for survival without their Daddy.

Dentist with another lion kill

I find it insane that this guy’s two passions in life are dentistry and big game hunting. He is a doctor, who has vowed to care for his patients to the best of his ability. In his spare time, he spends big money to kill innocent animals. Hunting is not a sport. Football is a sport. I know I may get some backlash here for my next statement, but any man or woman who hunts is a fucking asshole. It is not normal to want to take the life of an animal for your own pleasure. I don’t want to hear the bullshit excuses about using the whole animal for something, as if because you can find something to use bits and pieces of the animal’s body for something it makes it all alright. It doesn’t.  That animal was not put here for some dickless ass wipe to slaughter. It was put here to live, to love, and to survive like all of the other living creatures on this planet. Unfortunately, everyday I feel more and more alone in that sentiment.

So many people have spoken out about Cecils’ demise and his killer. The lion was baited out of his protected area, wounded with a bow and arrow, and tracked for 40 hours until he was then murdered and dismembered. Haven’t we been hearing of a similar story line in the news over the past year or so? It sounds a lot like many of the ISIS beheadings that have been in the news of late. While I commend the world for having a little compassion for the animal, I want to ask what about all of the other animals?

What about the bears, lions, elk, and rhinos that Dr. Palmer also murdered? Is Cecil more important than all of them? What about the millions of cows, chickens, pigs, lamb, and sea creatures that are killed every year so that their flesh can adorn the dinner plates of the world? Is Cecil more important than them, as well? I don’t think so.

I would like to take this opportunity to urge each and every one of you to consider just one meatless day a week. By doing so, you alone would save countless lives and cease to wreak so much havoc on the planet. Factory farming contributes to more environmental and climate change issues than anything else that we do, hands down.

slaughterhouse cows  pig slaughter  lamb kill  chicken kill

The difference between Cecil and factory farm animals is that Cecil lived a free life. He was able to roam in his preferred natural setting. He was able to really be a lion. Factory farmed animals spend their entire lives in crates or pins, in terrible circumstances, and are quite unhealthy. Many are abused repeatedly before they ever even reach the slaughter line, because let’s face it-you have to be a psychopath to work in one of those places. Babies are ripped away from their mothers. Some baby cows are killed the same day they are born, so you can feast on your veal. Meanwhile the mother cow is crying because she knows what is coming. Dairy cows are kept pregnant for years for their milk, until they can no longer lactate and are taken to slaughter. How can you people be so outraged by Cecil’s death, yet be so uncaring for other animals? Does your appetite for their dead flesh take precedent over their happiness?


I don’t expect everyone who reads this to go fully vegan. I would expect a person reading this that has any bit of intelligence, heart, and compassion to really think about what I am saying. This is similar to how I feel about the people who volunteer at the animal rescue shelters, but go home to fry up a piece of meat for dinner. Don’t live your life as a hypocrite. If you love animals, embrace all of them.  They are not ours for the taking. They all deserve our love.

mommy baby cow  pig

chuck      lamn

If you would like to know more about this, I suggest you watch Earthlings. This documentary by Joaquin Phoenix, a fellow vegan, covers everything about animals from shelters to fur to farming to dairy.

All images obtained from: Google search

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Why I Stopped Being a Fashion Blogger

fashion montage3

I started this blog, originally titled  American Libertine Style, with one focus. As the title implied, it was a fashion blog. I spent hours perusing the latest fashion editorials, the internet, and was glued to the computer to watch live online viewings of fashion shows. WWD was my homepage on my laptop. I also went out of my way to show my face at every local fashion show, even being named one of my city’s 25 Most Stylish last year. I have a closet full of designer goods that I loved to dress in, although I never rubbed it in anyone’s face or acted pretentiously ( at least I don’t think I did).

Something happened to me this past winter that changed everything. I found myself pregnant (surprise), and as quickly as my husband, children, and I wrapped our head around a new baby joining us it was gone. I suffered a miscarriage in November. Since this isn’t a post about that, I won’t dwell on that subject for long. It was at this time that I gained a new perspective on life. You can live a life full of luxury and surround yourself with the best upscale items you can buy, but all of these things still can’t change your destiny. Wrapping yourself in the hottest labels and driving up in the most bad ass whip possible doesn’t make you a better person. I never believed that it did, by the way. However, when you become immersed in the fashion world it is easy to forget that. It is easy to begin to lose sight of the most important facets of life. It is easy to try to keep up with the Jones’ and always have the best shit. If you can manage, for even the shortest duration of time, to step out of the eye of the hurricane you will be able to see clearly.

I don’t want to fall into any materialistic traps of the fashion world. I don’t want to contribute to an industry that is mostly vain, and brings in billions of dollars a year but does hardly anything to give back to the world other than create monsters like Kanye West. That’s another thing-his acceptance with his sex tape darling of a wife Kim K into the fashion world made me want to get out faster than I could say Balenciaga. I worked very hard in college as a disciple of the fashion gospel. Two of the most untalented, shallow, and disgusting asses on the planet bum rush Anna Wintour and now they are a part of this world. It just doesn’t sit well with me!

While I will always like nice things and am a huge advocate of (cruelty free) quality items (because they last forever), I never want to believe that my self worth stems from owning these things. I also never want to find myself on a Swarovski crystal encrusted pedestal looking down on people who don’t have the means to swaddle themselves in designer duds from head to toe. Most importantly, I don’t want to convey that this attitude is alright to my children. I am not as worried about my son, but my daughter is an 8 year old mini me. I noticed behavior in her that I had exhibited for a long time, instant gratification through purchases-aka shopaholic. There is more to life than this!

I was guilty of letting fashion dictate my life. Luckily I woke up and realized that I have more to offer than a cute #OOTD (Outfit of the Day). I can enjoy a beautiful sunset whether my outfit cost $50 or $1000. It doesn’t matter if I am on a run in yoga pants from Neiman Marcus or yoga pants from Target-I am still running. Why had I allowed myself to be dumbed down? It is time to truly embrace life and fully appreciate the life that I live. It is time to stop wishing for things I don’t have, and be grateful for the things I do have.

The best part of this transformation for the blog is that it gives me much more content to write about. Plan to see topics about marriage, parenting, animal welfare, the vegan lifestyle, travel, and more. I hope you are as excited as I am!

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Death by Lilly for Target


Let me just begin by saying that the Lilly Pulitzer limited collection at Target is the first and last of the designer collaborations that I will participate in as a consumer. I actually read about this particular collaboration right after Christmas , but forgot about it until Friday when the countdown was blasted all over social media. I am a huge night owl, so I made a mental note to visit the website on Sunday early morning since I am usually up quite late on the weekends. I went on with my weekend with my family, including a much needed date night with my husband and a shopping session at Best Buy to gather electronics for our son’s birthday.

Saturday evening I found myself with TIME! Any of you parents out there know exactly what the hell I am talking about. At the moment, I feel like I can not get any privacy from anyone in this damn house. So to suddenly find myself with my husband out of the house working late, both kids asleep, and my laptop beckoning me- I got excited. I won’t even lie. I find shopping one of the most therapeutic activities. At the risk of sounding shallow, it seriously is in my top 5 favorite things to do. I logged on to the Target website at midnight to make a “purchase list”. I really wasn’t going to go crazy, but there was a jumpsuit my daughter wanted with the matching headband and 3 for sure items I wanted in clothing. I also really wanted the little stack of teacups with the stand. Once the list was complete, I waited.

I watched the newest episode of Nurse Jackie. I watched workout videos on YouTube and Instagram. Then I stumbled upon a Facebook group dedicated to nothing but this event, Lilly Pulitzer for Target. Basically, it was mostly women and some men (purchasing for their ladies) all keeping each other updated on news of the launch. From there I learned that Jason Goldberger, the President of & Mobile, was updating followers on Twitter. So I started watching his tweets to see his updates. Apparently, there was a leak to a link that allowed people to shop prematurely before the official Target launch. A shit ton of people were actually able to put the merchandise in their cart online and check out successfully. I was not one of those fortunate people. The launch commenced at 3am EST, and immediately crashed. Other people from that Facebook group were reporting that they were able to check out, others able to put things in the cart but not checkout, and others who couldn’t even get on the site. By this point, I was exhausted. By 4am, items were already showing up on E Bay. I continued to check the Target site and enjoy my own personal quiet time with no one needing anything from me. By this point, I was pretty sure it was just not going to happen for me. But there was something challenging about it, and I was a huntress. The merchandise was my prey, and I was not going to rest until I had obtained it. Things didn’t quite go the way I had planned, though. I ended up passing out at 5:30 like some kind of crazy crack head trying to buy shit with a stolen credit card, hand resting on the mouse of my laptop and all.

Everyone in my family prefers to stay up late and sleep late. We started waking up around 10 and I immediately checked the website. Everything on my list was sold out, except for Mini Me’s jumpsuit. I ordered it swiftly, having set up my account and saved my payment information pre-launch. I am a big planner….almost to the point of it being strange, almost.

Mini me and I went out late Sunday afternoon to check the aftermath. Fashion rubbernecking, if you will. There was absolutely no sign that this collection even existed, except for the Flamingos hanging in random places throughout the store marking where items in the collection were located. There were no clothes, no accessories, no housewares. But there was one lonely little bottle of nail polish left. My favorite color, turquoise, which has been cleverly named ‘Where’s my Chauffeur’ for this collection.

My take away from the entire Death by Lilly for Target incident is that there comes a time in life when you may think you will only be happy if you can walk away with 4 or 5  garments and some porcelain cups, but end up being just as satisfied with a single bottle of turquoise nail polish. Shame on the greed monsters who scooped up entire racks of clothing and shame on for not better preparing (this isn’t their first rodeo, afterall). I am thankful for my little bottle of nail polish and for the shit ton of Lilly dresses, pants, skirts, and shirts I already own. Lilly Pulitzer is a southern lady fashion staple. Don’t be fooled, it is not only the WASP types that indulge. Although those chicks definitely see it as some sort of trademark or birthright, and I read some pretty ugly comments from some of them on Twitter. They were not happy preps! On the other hand, I am also glad other ladies who may not be able to afford the normal Lilly price tag can feel pretty and happy in their colorful Lilly Pulitzer for Target dresses. Style isn’t about what you spend or which designer you are wearing. True style is about how it’s all put together and how it makes you feel.

Photo Credit//Target Corporate website

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The past year has brought many changes in my life. I find myself entering a new phase which I am all for, because it means I am evolving. This blog will no longer focus on only fashion, although fashion will still be in some of the content in the future. I want to be more relatable of a blogger to my readers, and to people everywhere. Posting about $3,500 YSL handbags and Louboutins isn’t really relatable.

I will write more about this soon. I did want to give a heads up to my followers who may have noticed the change in name and tagline. I am very excited about this change and I think you guys will love it as well! Until next time….xoxo


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St. Patrick’s Day Look

St. Patrick's Day Look

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Pantone Color of the Year 2015: Marsala

I always seek out the Pantone Color of the Year every January. The Pantone website is a great tool for researching color trends as well, if you are an avid fashionista as myself. I must say, Marsala isn’t my favorite color. Hopefully it will grow on me, because I can guarantee that we will see it everywhere this year!

Pantone_Color_of_the_Year_Marsala_Color_Intelligence_Banner 2015

Photo Credit:

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How To Wear Converse Stylishly

If you do not have a pair of Chuck Taylor‘s in your closet, I would suggest getting a pair ASAP. These sneakers are an American icon, and can be seen on a multitude of personalities from hipsters and rockers to party girls and preps.  There are a shit load of color choices, but if you are stuck on which color to go with first the classic white is a must. They are so inexpensive that you can add more colors to your closet if you like without pulling a Carrie Bradshaw and breaking the bank on shoes. You will wear these sneakers for not only seasons to come, but years to come! They never go out of style. Below you will find a just a few looks that can be conquered with your Chuck Taylor’s. Enjoy!

atlanticpacific jean shorts and tights jeans casual SONY DSC with  blazer with dress and tights with leather jacket with leather skirt


*All images pulled from Pinterest except Image #1

*Image #1 photo cred: Atlantic Pacific

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Valentine’s Day 2015

Valentine's Day 2015
Dress//Notte by Marchesa Draped Silk Crepe Mini Dress
Clutch//Jane Taylor Rhinestone Clutch
Bracelet//Crystal Medallion Cuff, similar shown
Earrings//Gold Filligree Earrings, similar shown
Ring//John Hardy Naga 18K Gold ring
Heels//Casadei pumps
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